Sinking in the Pits of Despair
How far gone are you?
Level One
Symptoms: Employee was recently hired, thinks everything is great. Still believes everything they heard in their interview. Thinks that anyone complaining is just grumpy. Basically just blissed out on employment.
Also known as the "Blissful Ignorance Stage"
Level Two
Symptoms: Begins to realize that everything is NOT perfect, but figures it's just a "busy time" and it will get better... Starts to listen to what the grumblers are saying.
Also known as the "Troubled Optomist Stage"
Level Three
Symptoms: Realizes that the "busy time" is not going away, but feels that maybe management doesn't realize how much work there is, and thinks that as soon as they find out, they'll hire more people... Wonders why obvious problems are not addressed. Begins to talk to the grumblers...
Also known as the "Flickering Candle of Hope Stage"
Level Four
Symptoms: Employee realizes that management doesn't care as long as the "business goes on". Realizes that there is no upside to his career choice, crappy benefits, poor conditions, and the money promised in the interview will never come. Begins to feel frustrated, takes out his frustration on others. All hopes of a bright career are buried, uncerimoniously.
This is the most irritating stage to the employee's fellow workers. No one wants to work with a level four, and they are generally avoided... Becomes a grumbler.
Also known as the "Grumpy Bastard Stage"
Level Five
Symptoms: Employee feels confrontational, embarks on a quest to make things better. This us usually accomplished by joining safety committees and memorizing the phone number of the Ministry of Labour... Employees at this level provide much amusement for those at level six and above...
Also known as the "Don Quixote Stage"
Level Six
Symptoms: Employee feels trapped at the workplace by the economy, but begins to take pleasure in the suffering of others... The employee delights in company misfortune and computer and mechanical failures, even when they themselves are affected.
Also known as the "Sadistic Bastard Stage"
Level Seven
Symptoms: Employee begins to take so much pleasure in the suffering of others, he begins to instigate it. The most dangerous stage. This stage encompasses everything from starting rumors to industrial espionage...
Also known as the "Agent Provocateur Stage"
Level Eight
Symptoms: This expert has not seen this level as yet, but surmises that it would include a high powered rifle, a list, and lots of sirens...
Also known as the "Going Postal Stage"